check your breath (or better yet have someone check it for you)

Do you have attitudinal halitosis?  Let me explain.

How’s your physical breath? If you really want to know, it’s best to ask some unfortunate soul close enough to have an opinion. If there’s no one willing to venture near, that might also be the clue you’re looking for. 

The point: Other people usually know we have bad breath before we do.

At work, not to mention in life, we can have a different kind of bad breath. It’ll knock people flat just as easily as the more common halitosis. It’s a halitosis of attitude. It’s how we come across in any given moment- or even more importantly, it’s how we come across in every single moment (the attitudinal patterns we exhale).   

I’m usually fairly confident of how I’m coming across (in any given moment)… that is until I ask someone for feedback. It never ceases to amaze me how different another person perceives me in a situation where I’m convinced I’m engaging; bordering on genius. The way I’m coming across seems "fresh" and pleasing to me, yet all the while people are creating a bit of distance from my "stale" presence.

The point: Other people usually know we have attitudinal bad breath before we do.

Of course, the objective is to become more self aware–to spot my own bad breath first. Still, that requires time, patience and the feedback of other people I am willing to hear.

Important: Another person might not always be completely correct about my breath. Sometimes the attitude of the other person distorts their ability to properly "smell" my attitude. Their own baggage might create an unfair filter. They might actually be the one with bad breath.

BUT…even with that said, the feedback of others is critical. We have two choices:

1) Don’t ask for feedback
2) Listen

What would number two look like?

more to come…


One Comment

  1. Syl July 11, 2007 at 11:44 pm - Reply

    Here is my feedback–go to a party…and soon 🙂 Or, better yet, perhaps you need to throw a party for yourself!–you know, the one you never had when you got your doctorate. Perhaps just going to dinner with a few friends might be nice.

    Good for you–the blog, I mean! And I hope you get lots and lots of feedback. Isn’t that one of the hardest things to ask for? But, you are brave enough to do it–shouldn’t we all be!

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